What Should I Do With My Life? A Step By Step Guide

What should I do with my life?

We’ve all asked it… maybe a few times.

Sure, some remarkable people graduate early from high school, get a Ph.D. and start three companies by the time they’re 23. They’re the ones you tend to hear about. But they’re remarkable mostly in that they are so rare.

Some people waste a bunch of time trying to find their feet, spend a few years goofing around after high school, only to find themselves working in a mediocre job six years later. Some people wake up one day, aged 40 (or 50, or 60, or 70), and discover they’ve been going through the motions.

What happened to the life they were going to stumble across one day?

Are these two different sub-species of human, you might ask? How can two people, with similar starting conditions, grow in such different directions?

It must be genetic. You were designed for playing Skyrim, and someone else was designed to do all the fancy stuff. You just didn’t get the gene for ‘drive’ or ‘passion’.

I want to throw something else at you: the difference is a sense of purpose. And it’s not something you’re born with or without. It doesn’t come from someone else, or from the outside world.

It’s something that you get to decide for yourself when you answer the question: What should I do with my life?

Okay, sure. But that’s one hell of a question. Haven’t humans been asking this since the beginning of time?

Probably not, actually.

We don’t have any hard proof on this. Notoriously little evidence of what early humans actually thought has survived the ravages of time – historians have to base their guesses on clay pots and the like. But if you look at the world we live in today versus, say, the one humans lived in 500 years ago, it doesn’t seem likely that ‘What should I do with my life?’ was a burning question for ye olde folk.

Why? 500 years ago, your place in society was pretty much locked in.

If you were born the child of a wealthy merchant, the odds were you’d grow up to be a wealthy merchant too. If you were born into a family of corn farmers, you’d grow up to be a corn farmer.

The idea that we can be anything we want, and that each person has a unique purpose? It’s a pretty new idea.

It has roots in a movement called Romanticism from the late 18th and early 19th centuries. Let’s not go into detail about it here, but suffice to say it’s has had a huge impact on modern culture. Among other things, Romanticism championed the idea of a ‘true self’, or authenticity and sincerity.

As a consequence, soul-searching became the new thing to do. Accepting your lot and your place in life was off the table.

The legacy of Romanticism is still going strong. And now, for us living in today’s society, the question is definitely burning. The number of Google searches conducted every month for ‘What should I do with my life?’ is over 1,000 per month in Australia alone. It’s one of the hardest questions to answer.

If you’re struggling to answer it, you’re not alone.

The problem with this question is it’s so open-ended. Also, there’s no answer just waiting for you. You create the answer, through a series of experiments.

We all know someone who seems to understand this process naturally. They just go out into the world and figure it out. For some of us, though, this strategy doesn’t work so well. You know who you are.

Maybe it’s a little from column A; a little from column B. Either way, a structured approach can help you take a step back and assess things clearly.

But there’s good news! It is possible to overcome your personal challenges to get you started on a path towards your best life.

A life where you make choices.

So no matter how things unfold, you know that you took them there, instead of letting life pass you by.

Sometimes all you need is a little structure. The feeling of staring at a blank piece of paper can be overwhelming. The best way to start can be built from the ideas of others.

Don’t worry! We’ve done some research for you.

Follow the step-by-step process listed below, and hopefully, this article helps you take the first steps along the way to the life you really want.

A life where you do things that matter.

So instead of sitting down and starting from scratch, why not follow along with these questions and get a little clarity?

You might find that your life’s purpose comes into sharper focus.

That’s the first step toward building a remarkable life – one you’ll feel proud of in years to come.

According to psychologist Steven Reiss, there are 16 basic desires behind people’s behaviour. While everybody is driven by all 16 desires to some extent, different people prioritise differently. According to survey data, at the core people’s motivations are driven mostly by genes. There’s a big difference in how much people enjoy different activities, such as eating and raising children. So much so that it can be hard for us to understand why someone else seems to love gardening so very much when we’re into building a business. These different levels of enjoyment lead to some very different life projects. Because of their genetic origin, they don’t change much during a person’s lifetime. Getting to know which of these really drives you is a great first step towards figuring out your life’s purpose. After all, before you know what, you have to know why.

Okay, now you have a better idea of what really motivates you, this next step should be easy! The following questionnaire is inspired by career coach Rebecca Beaton. These 7 questions will help to build a picture of the life you want.

You’ve come so far! Well done. We’re seriously proud of you. You made it through the questions. Maybe your head is buzzing with ideas and questions. Did you do it right? What if you messed some part of it up?

The good news is that in these questions, there’s no perfect way or right answer. There’s only the answer that’s right for you. You get to decide. And if tomorrow you decide that you want to change it, guess what? That’s also up to you.

Once you have some of these things written down, keep them in your Notes on your phone, or in your personal notebook, on a sticky note next to your computer – whatever floats your boat. You’ll see positive changes just from keeping your focus and your desires somewhere accessible. It’s navigating on the open seas: a lot easier when you can see the guiding star.

And the next step?

Now you’ll build on the ideas you generated in the previous exercise. Go out and give some new things a crack! It’s time to get out of the comfort zone. For example, you might:

• Sign up for a course in jewellery making.
• Go to a meetup in your area for people who love writing, or hiking. (You can find some great ones on the Meetup app, or try searching for relevant Facebook groups.)
• Do a one-month internship at a company.

If it scares you, it’s probably a step in the right direction.

Informational Interviews

The most powerful thing you can do, though, better than all those things put together, is to go out and conduct some informational interviews with people in relevant fields, doing amazing projects, or running businesses!

An informational interview is when you contact people in your network, extended family or friendship circles, even co-workers, and ask them if you can pick their brain for fifteen minutes over a coffee. LinkedIn is a wonderful place to find these people. Come prepared with a list of questions such as:

1. What do they do, day-to-day?
2. What do they love about their job?
3. What do they wish they’d known when they started out?
4. What’s the worst part of their role, project, or business?

Now you’re armed with some self-knowledge, you’re in a great position to try things out and learn more about what suits you. As opposed to what you think you’ll enjoy, which – surprise – often turns out to be incorrect.

Sometimes it helps to read about other peoples’ experiences. We’ve collected some Reddit stories from people who ended up doing something completely different to what they thought they’d do.

There are plenty more stories like these out there. They show that the path is not always clear from the beginning, and it doesn’t always follow a straight line. People tend to find their path through trial and error, through experimentation. And so can you.

In the end, we’re here for a while. In that time, we do things.

It’s up to you whether the things you do are important.

Are they meaningful to you? Or do they just fill up time?

So the question becomes:

Do you want to kill time?

Or do you want to use your time for something important?

There are some fantastic authors out there covering these topics in more depth. If you want more, I encourage you to read the following books. Tackle them any order that strikes your fancy!

The 5 Minute Guide: How to Figure Out What To Do With Your Life, Fast

To help you work through these questions, here’s a free printable worksheet that you can pin up to keep you on track:

We all need to think about our direction in life from time to time.
But your days are filled to the brim!

For you social butterflies and people who can’t stop moving, we’ve condensed the key takeaways from our in-depth guide to bring you clarity on your coffee break. Have a read then let the ideas brew. Who knows what plans you might come up with throughout your busy day?

1. What Motivates You?

According to psychologist Steven Reiss, there are 16 basic desires behind people’s behaviour. Choose your top 3 basic desires from this list:

• Power – the desire to influence others
• Independence – the desire for self-reliance
• Curiosity – the desire for knowledge
• Acceptance – the desire for inclusion
• Order – the desire for organisation
• Saving – the desire to collect things
• Honour – the desire to be loyal to your heritage
• Idealism – the desire for social justice
• Social Contact – the desire for companionship
• Family – the desire to raise one’s own children
• Status – the desire for social standing
• Vengeance – the desire to get even
• Romance – the desire for love and beauty
• Eating – the desire to consume high-quality food
• Physical Activity – the desire for exercise and movement
• Tranquillity – the desire for emotional calm

2. What Does Your Dream Day Look Like?

Imagine a typical day from your dream life. Picture it like a film inside your head.

Be as specific as you can. The more detail the better. What will you do with your mornings? What will you do for your well-being? Will you have a family? Will you travel often? How will you grow as a person? What kinds of social events will you go to?

In what ways is this different from where you’re at now?

3. What Are Your Strengths?

Everyone has personal strengths. But because you spend so much time being you, it can be hard to see how you’re different. So ask a close friend or family member. Think about what you value in others – this is often a reflection of what you value in yourself. Are you using your strengths every day? How could you better match your strengths to the activities in your life? If you love people, but you work at a computer all day in a quiet office, what changes could you make?

4. What Makes You Lose Track Of Time?

What do all the things you enjoy, and that feel meaningful, have in common? Often its the mental process behind the activity that matters, rather than the specific activity. For example, maybe you lose track of time while daydreaming of decorating imaginary houses. The process behind this is one of visual curation, bringing together separate elements to form a whole. This is the inner component of your purpose. It is focused on you. It does not rely on outcomes.

It is a way of being, of doing. For example, you may want ‘to serve’, ‘to create’, or ‘to solve problems’.

5. What Do You Want To Change In The World?

This one’s focused on the world around you. What do you wish was different? In what area do you want to leave the world a better place than you found it?

Dream big! If you pick a scarily big area to work on, you’ll be more motivated to keep going, even if your part is relatively small.

If you get stuck with this one, try thinking negatively. What makes you really sad, angry, or horrified about the way the world is? Do you shrivel up inside when you hear about pollution and damage to the environment? Maybe you want to improve sustainable agricultural practices. Do you always want to help when you see troubled teenagers because you remember what it felt like? Maybe you’d be great working with youth.

6. How Much Can You Brainstorm?

How many problems, challenges, and opportunities are related to the areas you’re interested in? Set a timer for 1 minute, and write as many as you can down – no filter. You can write as many rubbish ideas down as you like – as long as you keep writing until the timer’s up. Then circle 2-5 of the best ones

7. What Are Some Possible Next Steps?

Perhaps your next step is to find some people who you might want to interview, then ask them some probing questions about working in their field. Or perhaps you’d like to go out and try an internship.

Whether you’re finishing university, looking at a career change at 40, still studying, or going through a mini-life crisis, it’s one of the most important questions you can ask yourself. And it’s not just a matter of ‘finding your passion’, as the career advice so often suggests.

It could be worth going through these exercises once every few months. After all, we’re constantly changing, correcting course as we go.

The most important thing is to know that life didn’t make your decisions for you: you made them. Whatever you do, do it on purpose.